Jimmy Broccoli

Jimmy Broccoli is a library Branch Manager by day and a published poet at night with a mission to inspire his readers through imaginative poetic storytelling. He enjoys walks on the beach and playing with puppies.

My Motherfucking Cock and a Bowlful of Kibble

So, I’m standing at the urinal, urinating with my penis –

and a woman walks into the public restroom – I don’t know her

and she looks at my member and asks if my penis is of normal size

I tell her it’s of normal size – but, perhaps it’s a bit – only slightly - larger than the size of the penises of most of my mates

And she tells me her daughter just had her first period

And I say “okay”, as I put my member away and zip up my pants

She exits the Men’s Restroom and I never see her again

It’s morning and I eat my breakfast – it’s egg whites, seasoning salt, and hot sauce – with a dash of black pepper

I drink down a motherfucking glass of crushed apples, dandelions, and ginger

And I scratch my nut sack because it itches

I, then, walk out the door and continue to my car to get to work

“I really don’t want to be a dog”, says a co-worker to me while we are at lunch

And I tell him he doesn’t have to be – though I watch him eat kibble without a utensil out of a plastic bowl he brought from home

He is panting, as if he hasn’t seen water in days

And I look away, so as not to embarrass him

“Are you hung?”, asks the rent boy on the street as I pass the closed opera house he is standing in front of – I’m walking home from work

“What is it with my fucking cock?”, I ask. “Jesus Christ”

And he backs away from me, continuing to eat a half-done sleeve of Ritz crackers, original

“These condoms don’t fit”, I protest while at the XXX adult store

“You’re not supposed to try them on”, says the Asian clerk at the desk

“I ain’t big – but I ain’t this”, I say – and he gives me a side-ways glance

I drop my pants, without underwear, my penis erect, and ask, “what should I buy?”

He looks at my increased member and gives me a recommendation -

The clerk wishes me a good night, while swearing beneath his breath

A chick at the all-clothing off nudie bar shows me her vagina – 

and it looks a lot like the one I saw a few minutes ago

“I bet you’re hung” she tells me, after seeing my large hands

“It’s kind of normal, only slightly larger than my mates”, I respond

“Are you pregnant?”, I ask her, and she says she is

I ask her to send me an announcement on Facebook – 

so I can send a baby gift. And, she says, “Okay”

I’m thinking a few months of Pampers or a decently sized playpen

Her lipstick is a beautiful shade and it’s outstanding

She tells me it’s called Amazon Bronze – and I think the name is stupid

I’m in the parking lot and this boy is on my jock – his head keeps hitting the edge of the steering wheel – and I’m trying to prevent that

I lean over, slightly, and gently, and he doesn’t injure himself for the next 20 minutes

“Good boy”, I say as I give him a fifty and a bowlful of kibble for him to take home

His lips, dripping my cum, says “thank you” to me and I thank him, as I turn up the sound on my MP3 player

Then, a week later…

She always had beautiful hair and her friends are always jealous of her breasts

“You have nice titties”, I tell her, while draggin on my cig

“From what I see from the outline on your trousers, your cock ain’t much larger than the average size of the penises of your mates”, she tells me

“Yeah, dat be true”, I tells her

And she pulls down my trousers, and begins to satisfy me

And I do not stop her

Trigger Warning: Contains very strong adult language, graphic sexual situations (both heterosexual and homosexual), references to male and female genitalia, mention of the female menstrual cycle, a reference to semen, pregnancy, smoking, prostitution, and references to humans slowly turning into dogs.

The content of this poem was influenced by the collective film work of director Yorgos Lanthimos.